• DeAara Lewis

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Gossipers and Flies I do Despise…

“What is the concrete, tangible effect?” This is what my Life Coach asked me yesterday when I was expressing my sadness and anger about some people who behaved in some pretty hurtful ways towards me, including making snide remarks behind my back, in my face, trying to sway a group of people to view me with their same bitter and warped projections they had and a part of me felt powerless.

I didn’t understand what he meant until he broke it down. He asked was I in contact with any of these people regularly. No. Do I work for them. No. Are they affecting my ability to create and produce my show. No. Is their behavior influencing how he or my close family or real friends view me. No.

When I really thought about it, all they could do was talk. That’s it. No other violations had taken place and yes, it hurt, but it really showed me who they were, not that I didn’t already know. They weren’t foolish enough to put their hands on me, they just ran their mouth. And if their words can influence the minds of people who have never taken the time to get to know me, those are people who I have no desire to engage with anyway.

The only time it really matters what people say or do is if it has a concrete, tangible effect on One’s life. I can’t make people like me. I can’t make people not gossip about me. I can’t make people understand me, accept me, want to be my friend. I can’t control what ideas they will form about me, what they post, whether or not they speak to me or invite me to something. And yes, it may sting, but I won’t die from it. It is not affecting my ideas, my ability to walk, go to work, eat, breath. At worst, MY feelings are hurt – and that I CAN CONTROL.

The only thing on this planet that we have any type of control over are our perceptions and how we choose to respond to things. That’s it. And I choose to limit my interactions with unworthy witnesses who have nothing better to do than point out all the flaws in others in order to give their own worthless lives some miniscule meaning.

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