• DeAara Lewis

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Who Would You Have to Be in Order for Them to Accept You? Coping with Rejection…

Rejection is something almost each and every one of us will deal with at some point in our lives. Facing it can be tough because many our insecurities and negative beliefs about ourselves come at us full force. So a question I ask myself that I encourage anyone who may be coping with rejection ask themselves is – who would you have to be in order for this person to accept you?

See, we can only be who we are. Even when we pretend to be someone else, our true personality will eventually surface, even if it’s just in glimmers and people will notice. So if who you are is counter to who that person wants you to be then the rejection is inevitable. No matter what, it was going to happen unless you completely sell yourself out.

If you are outspoken and they prefer more docile people, they were going to reject you. If you are quiet and they prefer more outgoing people, they were eventually going to reject you. If you exist and they don’t like that you exist, eventually, they would reject you for existing.

That was very freeing for me when I realized it. And it let me off the hook of trying so hard or in most cases at all. It also makes it a hell of a lot easier to set boundaries because I’m not hanging on the idea that I need their acceptance to function and live. So my suggestion – look at it as they did you favor. You are now free to be whoever you choose to be on your own terms.


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